varlandgear:

Okay so I was walking through the store when suddenly! Pasta salad! 

No like that’s what this product is called. Suddenly pasta salad. SUDDENLY PASTA SALAD. And like I understand that it’s a box of stuff that you add to pasta and suddenly it’s pasta salad. Okay cool, sounds pretty useful to me. But god that suddenly in the name. It just makes it sound so… sudden. You know? like you pull back the shower curtain and pasta salad!!!! You look in the mirror and what’s that behind you? It’s pasta salad. you hear a strange noise and pasta salad. you turn the corner and pasta salad. SUDDENLY PASTA SALAD. JUST OUT OF NOWHERE. ALL OF A SUDDEN. OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT. IT’S PASTA SALAD. Whatever happened here it happened suddenly, nobody had time to get out of the way, they say as they survey the pasta salad covered scene.

Like okay here’s a play along at home game, put on your best movie trailer voice and say “it was a quiet town… a peaceful town… when suddenly, pasta salad!” Or even just use your regular voice, unless your movie trailer voice is your regular voice, I don’t know your life, to say pretty much any sentence that would have suddenly in it but then after suddenly you say pasta salad. Then say another one. There you go, I just gave you enough jokes to sustain yourself maybe for the rest of your life. 

*dead*