Ruby Wax on mental illness, [x].
avoid the comments on this video. they are terrible.
when i was going to school, i had a friend share with me that she had lupus — after i told her i’d been out of school the entire past year because of a chronic illness. another friend, who i’d been reasonably close to (and crushed on) during middle school, told me she had rheumatoid arthritis only years later, and only shared this after i talked about my own experiences with chronic illness. i’ve had multiple friends bring up their experiences with depression only after talking about trauma/my experiences with PTSD. a friend of a friend told me about her blood disorder that had kept her out of school in the past after i explained that i had dropped out of school because of my illnesses.
these chronic illnesses have been labeled ‘invisible illnesses’ for a reason. they’re not just invisible because we don’t fit some person’s definition of ‘looking sick.’ they’re invisible because we’ve learned there’s stigma around sharing them, or we’ve shared our experiences and gotten so many insensitive replies and complete lack of understanding from those around us that we’ve given up on trying to explain. it’s invisible illness awareness week right now, and for good reason — illnesses that are a daily part of our lives shouldn’t be something we feel the need to keep secret in order to protect ourselves and save ourselves the energy drain and frustration of trying to explain, over and over. spread awareness, educate yourself, remember that chronic illnesses and those of us who have them are everywhere, and we’re a part of your lives, too.
If you think you have a shame-based personality then the following suggestions might help you deal with this.
First … What NOT to do
1. Recognise that you’re being lied to –what they’re saying isn’t true. The truth is you’re a valuable and worthwhile individual. Choose to believe that this is true. Accept – and don’t reject – yourself.
2. Realise that it is pointless to argue against those who are in the habit of shaming, and putting you down. They don’t care about the truth - so save your breath; don’t waste your time.
3. Avoid the person who is shaming you as much as you can. You don’t need that kind of toxic person in your life.
4. Recognise and resist when they attempt to control you by embarrassing, shaming or manipulating you. Relationships are based on a healthy respect. You discuss and negotiate - you don’t try to control.
Second … What TO Do
1. Remember that “Nobody can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent.” When others try to dump on you, refuse to take it. Healthy people don’t dump shame on others. So, recognise that the problem is theirs – not yours.
2. Remove yourself from the influence of the shamer. That’s not a healthy place for you to be.
3. When you feel more confident. Think about confronting the shamer. Tell them (respectfully) that you’re not accepting that kind of treatment, then end the conversation and walk away.
4. Deliberately surround yourself with healthy people who can see your strengths and who will treat you well.
5. Notice and affirm your good qualities and strengths – and stop thinking of those lies that the shamer dumped on you. Focus only on the positives - and choose to LOVE YOURSELF!
a followup to the previous post I reblogged
This is just fucking stupid. People need to lighten the hell up. All this PC bullshit is getting oh, I dunno, how about CRAZY? No? RETARDED? Still no? HOW ABOUT GAY? Get over yourselves and grow some thicker skin. Everyone else has
This is useful information for people who actually care about people besides themselves.
For people like you, I suppose this is of no help at all. Probably nothing is.
A table of Non-ableist alternatives for “crazy”.
I no longer endorse this chart, but I am keeping it here as a basis for discussion.
See the full text version below.
A table of non-Ableist Alternatives for “Crazy”.
The word “crazy” should not be used in a trivial context, as this is an ableist/psychophobic slur against people with mental illnesses.
Trivial definition 1 uses “crazy” to mean ”Intense”, for example that was crazy good! I’m crazy in love. That film was insane.
Alternatives for this definition include excessive, extreme, protracted, vivid, impassioned, incensed, potent, rich, the utmost, the pinnacle, the highest, fantastical, farcical, hugely, incredibly, immeasurably, unimaginably and ridiculously.
Trivial definition 2 uses “crazy” to mean ”Negative/traumatic”, for example my car crash was crazy. It’s insane that we lost. Injustice is crazy.
Alternatives for this definition include adverse, alarming, chilling, horrific, harrowing, frightful, distressing, repugnant, agonizing, excruciating, heart-rending, eerie, ghastly, hellish, deplorable and grievous.
Trivial definition 3 uses “crazy” to mean “Unusual/Ridiculous”, for example I have so many crazy habits. This place looks insane! Look at the crazy patterns.
Alternatives for this definition include absurd, inappropriate, bizarre, unrealistic, incongruous, illogical, preposterous, beyond reason, laughable, curious, atypical, odd, eccentric, peculiar, weird and unconventional.